I am a collector of quotes. I like inspirational sayings, motivating verses, and passages that hit home. I have a whole Pinterest board related to them, as well as various and sundry clippings, post-its, and cut outs of gems that struck a chord.
But sometimes I get sick of shiny.
I don’t want to see another rainbow meme with inspiration scrawled in a curly script. I don’t want to wait for the storm to pass and learn to dance in the rain. And I sure as frick don’t want to live, laugh, or especially love on some days.
I want real. Hell, I am real.
Some days I’m frustrated. I know what I need to do…but it’s easier said than done. I’m mad. I know it’s not my responsibility, nor will I give in and bear that responsibility…but it hurts. I’m pissed off. I know it’s wrong, and I hate playing the game…but I can’t change it.
I want understanding. I want to hear that I’m justified in my thinking. I want to know that my reaction is normal. I want to be assured that whatever it is is truly the big deal it is in my head. I want to feel like I’m sane, not crazy, and my methods were appropriate despite any pushback I’ve gotten or felt.
I want company. Ask if you can help me hide a body. Offer to throw rocks. Say you’ll swing by for toilet paper so we can go roll a yard. Bitch with me. Say “yeah!” a lot while I vent. Tell me to go ahead and freaking scream. Remind me about that one time you wanted to choke someone, too. Text me and tell me we could leave right now and live in a beach hut in the Maldives.
We can always get back to our rational, bright-faced, ready to conquer the world selves. But sometimes…crap. We need to take a moment and throw things, not be handed yet another shiny solution, Brene Brown quote (she’s actually awesome), or rainbow meme.
Sometimes…I want real. You?