Suicide Prevention: The Blame Game

If you’ve been following our story as part of Suicide Prevention Month, you’ve heard me mention the Blame Game. I blamed myself. I blamed the world. I blamed myself. I blamed teenage angst. I blamed myself. I blamed hormones. I blamed myself. Blaming myself seemed natural. I birthed her. I fed her and rocked her.Continue reading “Suicide Prevention: The Blame Game”

Suicide Prevention Month:  Our Story Continues

Trigger Warning: Mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts can be difficult to process. If you might be triggered, please skip this post. When I talk about our mental health struggles with anybody, I get a number of questions and responses… Nope, not of that.  Yes, she is a beautiful, happy girl.  Her daddy and IContinue reading “Suicide Prevention Month:  Our Story Continues”

Suicide Prevention Month: Our Story Begins

Here’s the scoop on mental health problems…they suck. I think we’re now prepared to share some of our experience with mental health challenges and suicidal ideation, but be warned. It’s hard and sad and awful. I am bringing it to my blog, because September is Suicide Prevention Month. We are a few weeks into theContinue reading “Suicide Prevention Month: Our Story Begins”

What does your anxiety look like?

What does your anxiety look like? This morning, mine looks like a super muddled, very chaotic brain, the beginnings of a headache, and restlessness. So I got up, took some medicine, and made coffee. In an effort to try and settle my brain, I keep reminding myself… Your thoughts are running away with you. Don’tContinue reading “What does your anxiety look like?”

The Spot

It was July 22, 2015, when we found out Keith had colon cancer. The doctor called us on the phone after a routine colonoscopy. We were standing outside in the yard when I put the phone on speaker so we could both hear what he had to say. It was seventy-hundred degrees, and sweat drippedContinue reading “The Spot”

Internal Dialog…Try Harder

My internal dialog just this morning… Amanda, take your probiotic. Your gut is a mess. You haven’t been eating right at all. No wonder you feel like crap. Speaking of that, go prep tonight’s food. You’ll be glad you did. Aren’t you glad you bought groceries? Now eat right, and quit wondering why your bodyContinue reading “Internal Dialog…Try Harder”

She’s 14. I’m 46. Both learning.

She’s always nervous about walking into an event. I did the same thing when I was 14. When I watch her get out of the car, gather up her things, and nervously shut the door, I remember what it was like. As she crosses in front of my car, chews at her fingernail, and lookContinue reading “She’s 14. I’m 46. Both learning.”

It makes me tired.

I’ll just go ahead and say it, because I know y’all are thinking it, too. Sometimes, I don’t want to hear about other people’s problems. Anybody’s. The world’s. The economy’s. Whoever. Whatever. It makes me tired. There. It’s out…for all of us. That doesn’t sound very nice, I know, but seriously. I just don’t haveContinue reading “It makes me tired.”

Can’t Blame Myself

I’m the poster child for thinking of ways to blame myself when something “goes wrong” with my kids…if they acted irresponsibly, after they said something disrespectful, or best yet, when they got a mental health diagnosis. After the discovery of clinical OCD, general anxiety disorder, a math disorder, and ADHD in my daughter, I didContinue reading “Can’t Blame Myself”

Survival Mode

I am often inspired by posts made by my friends, and this one… what a thought! I think many of us are in this mode right now. We’ve been in survival mode. Keeping things running the best can, constantly trying to stay on top of tasks, always playing catch up, working to get enough rest,Continue reading “Survival Mode”