I made a blog post this morning about “boundaries”. Go check it out, if you missed it. And in response to a comment, I mentioned that I hated to be late to the party on learning about boundaries but was sure glad I had at 46.
I get a text from a beautiful, smart friend who saw my response and reminded me that I am not late to the party at all. She told me she had been in the same boat, learning many of the same lessons, and then she said…
“I prefer to believe that I am becoming more and more
who I am intended to be and closer to the One who created me.”
Y’all, this. After 46 years of hard lessons, dumb decisions, stupid mistakes, lots of people pleasing, misguided intentions, and plenty of disappointments – and a lot of recent self discovery and hard work – I am becoming more and more who I am intended to be. YES! She is so right.
See, if you just bump along through life and don’t take care of you (and occasionally assess yourself), you miss out on that. You fall into the trap of doing what people want you to do (for them!), and they will take, take, take because it benefits them. You get lost in tasks, to-do lists, and obligations. Your life is dictated by a clock, a schedule, a calendar. And, God Forbid, you know this happens…you aren’t learning anything or changing anything. You’re in a mouse wheel spinning and spinning. That’s NOT who we are intended to be.
And closer to the One who created me? YES! God wants peace for us. He wants us to do our best to live in such a way that glorifies Him, that shows the world we are light and joy and all things good. It’s pretty dang hard to shine my light, exemplify joy, and dole out good when I’m so stressed I can’t see straight and trying to be what other people want me to be (so they benefit!).
Y’all can’t have my sweet, smart friend, sorry. She’s mine. And I’m so glad I’m surrounded by people like her who remind me that all my self awareness and improvement isn’t poorly timed. It has helped me get closer to who I really am, who I actually am, and who I naturally want to be. Some people figure this out in their 20’s or 30’s. It took me a little longer and probably the events of my 20’s and 30’s to get me to this place. That’s ok.
I may even move a little closer to the One who created me, just like she said. That’s a daily struggle for me, but I can’t downplay my recent (and ongoing) success with this. It’s big and important and worthy of praise to both me and the God who never leaves me, keeps giving me grace, and keeps being my cheerleader.
Thanks, Girl. I know you’ll see this. I appreciate the reminder. My thoughts have shifted because of you.