Things I learned today…(“…have kids” edition)
If you love reaching into your favorite box of whatever and finding it empty in the cabinet, have kids. The box of Diet Coke was empty. The plastic that looked to still be around the ICE drinks I drink…empty. And the microwave popcorn box on the shelf…empty.
If you want an abundant array of styrofoam boxes of take-home restaurant food as well as large pizza boxes with 2 uneaten slices of pizza in your fridge, have kids. Our fridge is the International House of Leftovers right now. At least 4 countries are represented.
If you want your clean towels pulled from the dryer and put on the floor of the laundry room, have kids. They were “in a hurry”, and now I have to rewash my towels, because not only do we have kids, we have cats.
If you want “yes” answers to your questions (Your room is totally cleaned up, and you’re all done with your chores?), when the answer is actually “no”, have kids. If you want “no” answers to your questions (Do you have any dishes in your room?), when the answer is actually “yes”, have kids. It’s like living in a parallel universe.
If you want a garbage tower, brimming up over the already-stuffed-full can, constructed with careful precision and the perfect combination of physics and luck akin to a strategic game of Jenga, have kids. They’ll look at you sideways if you ask them to explain leverage, beams, cantilevers, fulcrums, and pressure, but they can demonstrate all the basic principles of physics clearly by stacking trash.
If you like the aroma of horses, plenty of sand, and enough grass to start a turf farm in your car, have kids. The WeaterTech floor mats I got a while back are a life saver and help minimize the mess. Otherwise, I think there’s enough dirt to full on barrel race in my front passenger floor.
If you admire baby bears, have kids. They grow fast, get big, and they eat a lot. Sometimes they follow you around so closely that if you turn abruptly, you’ll bump into them. Other times, they wander off toward something that will kill them. And in the meantime, they look so cute and fuzzy, but you’re not sure if you should speak to them or touch them, because they might bite your arm off.
That’s all. We learn every day, don’t we?